6.7L Cummins Forum

morbius · #11 (**permalink**) 05-28-2009, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garlic

For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is... They actually have a Chile Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL .

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Chile
cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILE # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILE
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild...
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

< B>CHILE # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILE
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILE # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILE
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse Chile. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have bee n snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean Chile with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a Chile.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is Chile an aphrodisiac?

CHILE # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong Chile. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chile using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her Chile had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILE # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety Chile. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt
with a snow cone.

CHILE # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre Chile with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of Chile peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with Chile, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. A t least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing... It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILE # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILE
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend Chile. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced Chile. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the Chile pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot Chile?
Judge # 3 - No Report

Now this made my day !! I can not handle real hot foods so this would be me ....

Garlic · #12 (**permalink**) 05-29-2009, 10:00 AM

I have actually been to Chile cookoffs that ended this way. I would have figured after all these years trying to find the sphinter burning hot stuff, I would have built up a tolerence to them, WRONG, Guess again!! I got into some stuff at the annual 'Firey Foods Show' that would remove rust! The sample that I tried was a very small dot on the end of a tooth pick, I touched it to my tounge, it felt like my face fell off and it took over a half an hour before I could feel my face again. I did survive it and even bought a bottle of it, but Dang was it HOT!!!! no flavor, just pure HOT. I do use it in some of the BBQ sauce that I buy to "kick it up a notch" about 1 tsp in 1 gallon works real well, it takes it up about 10 heat levels.

Ol'Coot · #13 (**permalink**) 05-30-2009, 11:41 AM

YUP! Been there, done that

Garlic · #14 (**permalink**) 06-05-2009, 04:30 PM

I have a deal for some one. I have (our own brand that I will send to you) an assortment of 'no salt' Garlic based seasonings that has every thing from mild to WILD in it for some one who can come up with a smoked brisket recipe that we could use for the BBQ contest that we compete in. I use mustard for the 'wet' part and a rub with red chilE, garlic, onion, black and white pepper, sea salt, raw sugar and paprika. Let it set for a few hours and give it a good cook for 12 to 14 hours using hickory.
My team is in need of something "different", some one mentioned lemon pepper? I may have to try it. I have a 10 pound brisket waiting for next weekend to cook. Lets see what you got!
When I cook and talk about 'smoking the quantity of meat that we do, they joke about the pipe. Here is my 'pipe'.

John · #15 (**permalink**) 06-06-2009, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garlic

When I cook and talk about 'smoking the quantity of meat that we do, they joke about the pipe. Here is my 'pipe'.

LOL.....why am I not TOTALLY surprised...After all he's a Dodge man too...

(nutt'n too big and powerful)

Squid · #16 (**permalink**) 06-07-2009, 03:40 AM

This probably isn't new but the Lemon Pepper reminded me of this and I thought it was unique at the time. I had a friend of mine that smoked his brisket in Sour Kraut and the brisket was rubbed with Lemon Pepper. He actually took the Sour Kraut, juiced it and put the juice in the pan and I was skeptical but it was pretty dang good.

Garlic · #17 (**permalink**) 06-08-2009, 08:20 AM

Lemon and fermented cabbage? Not to bad of an Idea. Unfortunatly too many of my team members have "issues" with cabbage. Methane and fire are not real compatible. But tha combonation sound s good. Pork cooked in Sour Kraut is good, the tang of lemon?? Food for thought.

Garlic · #18 (**permalink**) 06-12-2009, 09:10 AM

Come on Guys!!! I need some ideas!! I have a $50 assortment of my Garlic Peppers waiting for some with a good idea for our contest meats!!
To wet your appetite a little

tehse will be sent to the winner)
Original Garlic Pepper: NO SALT, Garlic (of course), black and white pepper, onion, parsley, cayanne.
Green Chlie Garlic Pepper: Same as above but includes Mild Green Chile Powder
Red chile and Chipotle garlic pepper: Again the original is the base, medium red chile, Chipotle (Ripe Jalapenos (Green ones turn red when ripe) then they are smoked) This is BBQ in a powder.
Nuclear Christmas: this is our signature seasoning, Of course the original garlic pepper mixed with HOT green chile, XXX HOT Red chile, A little green jalapeno and chipotle with just a touch of Habanero powder. This give you the best of the chile flavors, If you use it sparingly you get all of the flavor and very little heat, However if it is used to an excess you may not like me at all.

Posole seasoning (Red Stuff): A custom seasoning with all of the mexican influence that you could imagine (Posole is a red chile, pork and hominy stew, typically medium in the heat range (This is gringo heat))
There are 2 other flavors as well, that are waiting for some one to give me a good idea. In all there are 7 flavors that would be sent out for the lucky winner.
Thanks and Good eating

John · #19 (**permalink**) 06-13-2009, 12:21 AM

BELIVE ME...I'd love to help...hell I wanna try your stuff even if I have to pay...

Ok here's one I use that supposed to be for chicken, I have used it on roasts, that I smoke...

BBQ Baste

1/4 cup margarine
1/2 cup vinegar
1 tbsp celery salt
1/2 tomato sauce (i use ketchup)
juice of one lemon
1/2 tbsp hot sauce...(ok i use a little more)
2 cups apple juice (original recipe called for 1 quart water)
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tbsp gaqlic salt (I prefer power)
2 tbsp prepared mustard
1 tbsp taco power (original recipe called for 1/2 tbsp paprika
1 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp salt (I skip it aqs its already salty)
1 tbsp pepper

Combine all baste ingredients in pot. Bring to boil.

I useually mairinate the roast over nite in the fridge, and take out in the morningt to warm to room temp before placing in the smoker.

The smoker is a offset smoker, in which I use lump charcoal and add chunks of apple wood every so often..but NOT too much as it gets too strong.

NOTE: be sure to remove the bark from your apple wood. The bark imparts a bitter taste.

Vis-a'-vis · #20 (**permalink**) 06-14-2009, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garlic

Come on Guys!!! I need some ideas!!

I can't give you any idea's....but damn....when I get in your part of the country, I'm gonna look you up....Every time I read your posts I get hungry

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